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Masking is something that people with learning disabilities and those who are neurodivergent do. People can also do if they have mental health conditions. There tends to be more of a link and awareness between masking and the autistic community than other disability groups.
As a person who is neurodiverse, with several mental health conditions I know that masking is something that I do consciously at times. People without autism can mask for similar reasons depending on the individual and what condition they have. As an advocate for disability acceptance, I recently have tried to stop consciously masking, this is difficult as I cannot seem to keep up with the demand of what neurotypical people expect. I feel the need to accept myself and be a good example for the community. Sometimes I mask because of the lack of understand about my condition from others, I have been bullied for things I couldn’t help because of my disability. I have struggled to feel included in some situations. Other reasons why I might have masked are: keeping up with workload, not understanding information, being labeled as different and maintaining friendships. I used to sit with the clever people at school so they could help me with my work or I could copy theirs. I learnt to mirror their behaviors to fit in. This saved me many detentions. I have learnt from others that if you look like you are actively taking in information then you don’t get in trouble. I used to nod and say agree to what people were saying but I didn’t really register half the information being said, this helped carry me through school. Soon, people began to realise I was slow and that they could do things better with out me rather than make adjustments. I began to find real connections amongst minority groups. Sometimes I still find myself drawn to academically clever people, hoping to learn something and catch up. Realistically I know this is harder for me because of my learning difficulties. I have found some strategies to get round things or avoid situations to help me cope. This can in turn mask my struggles. My obsessive compulsive disorder has developed as a way of my brain trying to cope with my functional issues and sensory overloads. I believe that if I didn’t have OCD than my chance at an independent life would be harder. My struggles are more noticeable when I get fatigued, before people have mistaken it for a depressive state but it is more to do my brain’s function. In my own environment that I am happy with, I can seem much more capable because I have adaptions in place. In a place where I wasn’t so comfortable rather than ask for help and expose the extent of my disability I would make excuses for it rather than admit I was disabled. Sensory toys can be helpful to get you calmer although they do come with a stigma. They can also mask the fact that you are unable to cope and express your emotions typically and communicate as effectively as you would like. This can help you avoid unacceptable behaviors. When you have to mask it can feel pressurizing and it has made me want to isolate and take myself to bed at times when I am overwhelmed. I am now using walking aids and exposing my disability to others, my fatigue can get so severe that I go floppy and struggle to chew food or talk. My dexterity and coordination issues are so heightened that the motor dysfunction can also be severe. It can be my choice to stay at home or to take a wheelchair. In the past I may have chosen to stay in bed, but now I am happy advocating against people’s assumptions and stereotypes of disabled people. I believe some attitudes towards disabled people are changing but there is still a way to go.
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 You’ve just found out you're autistic or you’ve realise that your autistic behaviours are a significant disability to you functioning in the neurotypical world, so, you're faced with a decision....  The question whether you should disclose your autism to your work place, even family and friends is a deeply personal one. Its effectively a ‘coming out’. Its revealing something that is so fundamental to your identity that it can leave you feeling vulnerable and exposed disclosing your neurodiversity
However, disclosing your diagnosis or identity means that you are able to be yourself at work - to the extent that you feel comfortable. You might find that you mask less which takes less energy.  discovering new skills
Just got a diagnosis or your needs are changing?If however you’ve only just got a diagnosis or your needs are changing, it means that you are able to adapt those adjustments that you might need. Telling your employer helps them understand your needs and how to support you so that you can fulfil your potential and get the best for both you and the workplace. Choosing to discloseWhether you choose to disclose or not, it should only be with those you are comfortable with knowing. It maybe that you find someone who is more understanding and you develop a closer working relationship and they can help you. You might also want to discuss it with some one close to you and feel able to be honest about how you feel about your diagnosis. Whatever you choose to do - its your choice .   Neurodiversity Celebration Week is a worldwide initiative that challenges stereotypes and misconceptions about neurological differences. In celebration of this, our latest blog recognises that there is continued confusion about the term Neurodiversity, and we help to decode some of the terms that are often used. what is neurodiversity?
It is an umbrella term, that covers a number of conditions such as autism, AD(H)D, ADD, Tourette, ’s Dyspraxia, and Dyslexia. Just as there’s a diverse number of conditions that come under the neurodiversity umbrella, no one experiences those conditions in the same way - there’s a diverse way peoples minds work. The different conditions
maskingEven though these conditions typically develop in childhood, many people have been diagnosed later on in life, in adult hood, because they have learnt to Mask or hide their differences. This is particularly true of neurodiverse women. what is masking?Behaving and acting out what is often learnt and observed social behaviours, that are deemed more “socially acceptable” to a neurotypical person. Neurodiverse people have often experienced trauma and judgement and masking helps them to feel like they fit in. Masking can include engaging in small talk and forcing or faking eye contact - things that can feel uncomfortable to a neurodivergent person. masking can mean hiding who you really areAs a result, neurodiverse people can feel under significant stress, worried and fearful that they might slip up and get caught out for not acting in the “right” way. This is often accompanied with heightened anxiety and a constant need to be aware of what you are saying and how you are behaving – which can be tiring, contributing to mental exhaustion. how might you identify when someone is masking
what is stimming?Stimming is a repetitive form of behaviour that helps to bring a sense of calm or helps people to express their feelings. how can you help neurodiverse people to feel more comfortable about showing who they really are?
 It’s likely that as employers you have already thought about the different access needs someone with a physically disability might have when advertising your roles. In fact, there is often a box on the application form that asks if there is a disability and if there are any special requirements the organisation needs to make. When advertising job roles, you may have given some thought to producing information in large print, creating braille adverts for applicants with a visual impairment or making it clear that your workplace is fully accessible. But, what about for those who are neurodiverse?  Despite research showing the vast majority want to be working, there are many reasons why those with autism can't. The application process can be the first hurdle for autistic adults. Here’s my thoughts on how organisations can adapt their recruitment processes to encourage more neurodiverse people to apply! Communication
Explaining acronyms, removing large words, using smaller sentences that are concise are all ways in which this can be achieved. The clearer the job advert, the more people know about the job, and the greater chance that those with a neurodiversity will apply. reasonable adjustments
Stating your ability to make those adjustments indicate that you are open as an organisation to working with and supporting someone who is neurodiverse. layout and format
the interview
 It is brave to be uniquely yourself, it is a path of discovery to learn what makes you happy. It is courageous to let others see who you really are. This concept hasn’t been easy for me, I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 17. This was a relatively late diagnosis but on reflection some ways I always felt different. Throughout the last 7 years, I have learnt to embrace these differences. The biggest skill I have learnt is the ability to love myself and let others love you for who you really are. I am no longer afraid of the differences. As I adapted to make things easier for myself, family and friends have adapted too. Of course, there are challenges from people who are not willing to understand. I think this will take time for society to embrace neurodiversity. Autism understanding especially in women and girls is so much more developed from when I first got diagnosed 7 years ago.  Autism is remarkable in the sense that it enables me feel joy through my selected interests. It is a feeling like I can’t quite explain. Throughout my childhood I went through different selected phases, The Little Mermaid, High School Musical, Hannah Montana and the latest Once Upon a Time. When I am anxious I spend my time flicking through EBay or Vinted to check the latest Once merchandise. Now I have a huge collection of Once Upon a Time merchandise and The Little Mermaid figurines, I have it on display in my room and it makes me incredibly happy! I rewatch the series every day to the point where I know each and every word of every episode. This gives me a huge sense of calm. The predictability is reassuring and nurturing. Ever since I was little I have expressed myself when I was excited through the raising of my hands and a little grimace. It feels like electricity running through my body. To be able to have that feeling and experience that joy is a feeling like no other. Sharing my joy with family and friends is also special. As well as feeling the highs of autistic joy, I can also feel overwhelmed. I find it tricky to navigate and understand my different emotions. I refer to it as my brains holes being blocked. The processing stops. I have learnt over time to unpick this slowly to work through the different elements of what is worrying me.  Although I didn’t recognize it when I was younger, I had different sensory needs like the sensitivity to loud noises. I used to dread when someone recommended watching a firework display. I used to think to myself “how can anyone enjoy this?.” I thought I was strange as other people watched on in amazement to the glistening lights in the sky.  That is why I think it is so important to be a self-advocate to educate others on neurodiversity so autistic people have the same opportunities as neurotypicals as autism has so many positivity's.
We want to create a world where autistic people thrive and feel like valued members of society. Our thoughts and feelings are valid and valued and we would like to share them to create better equality, unity and inclusivity. 
 When you get to see the doctor, being asked too many questions is draining. If we saw the same doctor we wouldn’t have to keep going over things all the time as they would be more familiar with how you communicate and your health needs. It can work better for people with a learning disability to see the same doctor.  Even if you get an appointment it can be really hard to get a good service if you have more than one health concern or if the health worker can’t prescribe what you need, so you have to go back again or buy your own medical creams. Medications are expensive and not everyone gets free medicine. Some things used to be free but now they are not, some people just can’t afford £12 for eczema cream because of the cost of living. Or they can’t afford £15 to stretch in warm water in a hydrotherapy pool because they are limited in how they can exercise.
You should have the knowledge of what your rights are, such as being entitled to reasonable adjustments, at work, school, or in health and social care services. You need to know what might help you, as it will mean you can ask for the right reason adjustment for you. For instance, a longer appointment at the doctors, access to a quiet room to wait for appointments or a work mentor or buddy. It also helps to know where you might be able to access that help, who might be able to help you get that support or who could help you to speak up about it. Allow yourself some self-compassion, allow yourself to get it wrong, because you are trying and learning about yourself and the things that might help you. These things might even change over time. Communication skillsIt is important to have the skills to communicate what you, the community or person you are advocating for needs and it is essential that you are a good listener. It helps to have a safe space for people to talk through issues, to express what they need and ways of getting those needs met. It’s good to be clear and calm, assertive and respectful. This might not always be easy to do, but taking a breath and regulating your emotions helps people understand what you need.  join with othersThere may be others who have similar experiences to you. This might mean they have some solutions that you might not have thought of that may work for you. Or you might be able to provide them with solutions that help them. We can all learn from each other. Some people might not be able to advocate as well as you but helping them speak up and find their voice can be good for the community. The more people saying the same things means that organisations like social services the NHS are more likely to change. Even things like shops, leisure centres, theatres and sports grounds become more accessible. Coming together with other self-advocates and self-advocacy organisations in a network like Your Voice strengthens the message. We’re stronger together!  
For so long Autism and Neurodiversity hasn’t really had a place in service provision and health care. Autism has been misunderstood and that means that autistic people’s needs aren’t really met. Many services still use the term ‘leaning disability and autism’, which initially meant people with co-occurring Learning disabilities and Autism, this meant that Autistic people without a learning disability had nowhere to go and ask for support or have their voice heard. While it does now include autistic people without a learning disability, the needs of people with a learning disability and autistic people can be very different and these services aren’t necessarily set up for Autistic people. Therefore people can feel forgotten and that their rights don’t exist. It creates barriers that make day to day life difficult leaving many autistic and neurodiverse people feeling alone, unsure where to go for support and isolated. However it also has a more serious effect on their quality of life, and ultimately life expectancy can be decreased. So we need advocacy, peer advocacy and self-advocacy to help us make sure our voice is heard. Bringing together a community
However over the last few years, Autistic and Neurodiverse people have taken advantage of the advancement of technology to bring a wide and diverse community together that can help bring that sense of belonging. It also brings to the forefront the needs of autistic and neurodiverse people to members of the public and people on the social media rather than the stereotypical views of autism that are often portrayed in the media. This brings more awareness, understanding and acceptance in the wider public. Thriving not surviving
only one section of the disabled community
However Rosie is far from the only one who has been victim of this abuse nor is it only those with physical disabilities who have been the target of such abuse. By having only her and one other disabled activist (also with physical disabilities) on the programme it became a little focused on. While I want to praise Rosie for highlighting this issue I do think its important to reflect that the programme only focused on one section of the disabled community. an outdated medical term
Rosie herself opened the programme saying that she was using the word so no one else ever used it again and then continued to use the word throughout the programme. The programme has effectively done the opposite of taking it out of the lexicon, not to mention the hypocrisy of telling other people not to use the word while using it several times in the programme. The use of the word has increased on social media since the title was announced, trolls and bullies and even people who don’t understand how or why that word is so offensive have been given some legitimacy by a celebrity on a national broadcaster using it. being an ally to other disabled people
I haven’t got a learning disability myself, I’m autistic. So lets be clear I’m not claiming to speak for the learning disability community. My reaction was of some one who because for so long learning disability and autism have been put together, has many learning disabled friends and perhaps has some understanding of how powerful that word is.  
making practical tasks easier
Also, when picking items like car seats, push chairs etc I would pick ones with the easiest catches or straps etc as they tend to be awkward even for people that are not dyspraxic. This meant that I didn’t need so much physical help. For general baby routines like preparing bottles, a step by step easy read picture guide was helpful as long as done exactly right. Keeping things sterile and clean were no problem as I have O.C.D. I washed and dried baby stuff separately to help me keep track and most things matched so I could quickly identify baby things, distinguish different items and stay organised. This allowed for it not to take up too much time and impact baby. play
Some activities sadly I couldn’t engage with as well as I would like to, like safely riding a bike or playing in the snow. But thankfully that’s where dad’s strengths came in and I was on hand to make sure there was a nice hot chocolate and a warm towel and I could watch from the window. Sometimes whilst engaging in play activities I would become really tired so I couldn’t always join in for long periods. I had to make sure I had enough energy for the supervisory role of being a parent. I am a parent who allowed friends and allowed my child out to play with friends. However, due to having dyspraxia and other disabilities I would have to let the other parents know that what I say goes. So that friend can’t come due to the risk that could potentially occur although it had been eliminated due to my system. Most parents were understanding which helped, but some were not which was not easy to cope with. Education and emotional needs
Whilst cooking I need to maintain full concentration because I am very at risk of injury in the kitchen due to hazards and clumsiness. This meant I couldn’t always include my child in cooking tasks or engage whilst cooking or making hot drinks. I managed this by making sure when she was little she was strapped in a high chair or when she was older having another adult or friend about to occupy or safely engage her in a task whilst I prepared a meal. We could do baking together as long as I was feeling well and I had everything setup ready and organised.
Having dyspraxia and other conditions meant that in some areas like emotional support, patience and understanding, I could be excellent to the point where others would think that I was pandering to her and at other times or ways a bit slow. I needed to seek advice or support which was mostly available from family. Sometimes people presumed that I didn’t have things in hand because I may have some unconventional methods or take long to figure the best way to support or handle a situation which is really annoying. When on shopping trips my daughter didn’t get out of carrying a bag or an item from the age she was capable as I struggle to manage with the weakness in my wrist. Saying no was not an option, she had to help! |
