being a parent with Dyspraxia

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Being a parent with dyspraxia, well it has meant that I have had to think a lot harder about how to meet my child’s needs and how to get round barriers. The hardest thing is when others assume you can’t meet their needs or constantly and unfairly scrutinize you. All parents need support, a dyspraxic parent might need a different type of support or adjustment.

For example when my child was a little baby whilst feeding I would use a cushion to help prop up my arm and keep it in the correct position. Whilst holding and handling my child I might have looked awkward, but I had her safe although others would presume I’m going to drop her.

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making practical tasks easier

I might choose clothes that are easy to put on and off rather than ones with awkward buttons or stiff fabrics. Some of those all in one coats and suits were too hard for me to put on the baby or take off so I tried to avoid those ones. If on occasion someone gifted her something like that then I might ask my partner or supporter to help.

Also, when picking items like car seats, push chairs etc I would pick ones with the easiest catches or straps etc as they tend to be awkward even for people that are not dyspraxic. This meant that I didn’t need so much physical help. For general baby routines like preparing bottles, a step by step easy read picture guide was helpful as long as done exactly right. Keeping things sterile and clean were no problem as I have O.C.D. I washed and dried baby stuff separately to help me keep track and most things matched so I could quickly identify baby things, distinguish different items and stay organised. This allowed for it not to take up too much time and impact baby.

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play

Play had to be structured on some level as having dyspraxia means I can quickly become disorganised and not able to function well in a mess or with too much going on at once. It could make me slow to see danger or hazards and become distracted by the wrong things. It was very important so that I could keep me and my child safe, like if lots are toys are left out I could trip and hurt myself or my child could. I could hurt myself because I’m dyspraxic and her because she was too young to avoid the obstacle or see the danger and I would not be quick enough or strong enough to catch her.

Some activities sadly I couldn’t engage with as well as I would like to, like safely riding a bike or playing in the snow. But thankfully that’s where dad’s strengths came in and I was on hand to make sure there was a nice hot chocolate and a warm towel and I could watch from the window. Sometimes whilst engaging in play activities I would become really tired so I couldn’t always join in for long periods. I had to make sure I had enough energy for the supervisory role of being a parent.

I am a parent who allowed friends and allowed my child out to play with friends. However, due to having dyspraxia and other disabilities I would have to let the other parents know that what I say goes. So that friend can’t come due to the risk that could potentially occur although it had been eliminated due to my system. Most parents were understanding which helped, but some were not which was not easy to cope with.

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Education and emotional needs

With managing my child’s educational needs I have needed support with mostly understanding correspondence with the school and using technology is a challenge for me. I would manage to read to my child 3 nights a week rather than the recommended 5 due to fatigue from dyspraxia, her dad was unable to offer much support in that area due to his disability. Stories had to be not too long as reading takes a lot out of me as does cooking.

Whilst cooking I need to maintain full concentration because I am very at risk of injury in the kitchen due to hazards and clumsiness. This meant I couldn’t always include my child in cooking tasks or engage whilst cooking or making hot drinks. I managed this by making sure when she was little she was strapped in a high chair or when she was older having another adult or friend about to occupy or safely engage her in a task whilst I prepared a meal. We could do baking together as long as I was feeling well and I had everything setup ready and organised.

Having dyspraxia and other conditions meant that in some areas like emotional support, patience and understanding, I could be excellent to the point where others would think that I was pandering to her and at other times or ways a bit slow. I needed to seek advice or support which was mostly available from family. Sometimes people presumed that I didn’t have things in hand because I may have some unconventional methods or take long to figure the best way to support or handle a situation which is really annoying.

When on shopping trips my daughter didn’t get out of carrying a bag or an item from the age she was capable as I struggle to manage with the weakness in my wrist. Saying no was not an option, she had to help!