Being uniquely myself

It is brave to be uniquely yourself, it is a path of discovery to learn what makes you happy. It is courageous to let others see who you really are. This concept hasn’t been easy for me, I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 17. This was a relatively late diagnosis but on reflection some ways I always felt different.

Throughout the last 7 years, I have learnt to embrace these differences. The biggest skill I have learnt is the ability to love myself and let others love you for who you really are.

I am no longer afraid of the differences. As I adapted to make things easier for myself, family and friends have adapted too. Of course, there are challenges from people who are not willing to understand. I think this will take time for society to embrace neurodiversity. Autism understanding especially in women and girls is so much more developed from when I first got diagnosed 7 years ago.

Autism is remarkable in the sense that it enables me feel joy through my selected interests. It is a feeling like I can’t quite explain. Throughout my childhood I went through different selected phases, The Little Mermaid, High School Musical, Hannah Montana and the latest Once Upon a Time. When I am anxious I spend my time flicking through EBay or Vinted to check the latest Once merchandise. Now I have a huge collection of Once Upon a Time merchandise and The Little Mermaid figurines, I have it on display in my room and it makes me incredibly happy! I rewatch the series every day to the point where I know each and every word of every episode. This gives me a huge sense of calm. The predictability is reassuring and nurturing.

Ever since I was little I have expressed myself when I was excited through the raising of my hands and a little grimace. It feels like electricity running through my body. To be able to have that feeling and experience that joy is a feeling like no other. Sharing my joy with family and friends is also special. 

​As well as feeling the highs of autistic joy, I can also feel overwhelmed. I find it tricky to navigate and understand my different emotions. I refer to it as my brains holes being blocked. The processing stops. I have learnt over time to unpick this slowly to work through the different elements of what is worrying me.

Although I didn’t recognize it when I was younger, I had different sensory needs like the sensitivity to loud noises. I used to dread when someone recommended watching a firework display. I used to think to myself “how can anyone enjoy this?.” I thought I was strange as other people watched on in amazement to the glistening lights in the sky.

That is why I think it is so important to be a self-advocate to educate others on neurodiversity so autistic people have the same opportunities as neurotypicals as autism has so many positivity's.

​We want to create a world where autistic people thrive and feel like valued members of society. Our thoughts and feelings are valid and valued and we would like to share them to create better equality, unity and inclusivity.